There aren’t suitable good single men left to be found in New York City. This is what everybody continues to tell us. When Deanna* moved into the city late 2021 then it was her turn to find out if there’s any truth to the statement. Freshly single after her boyfriend of three years split with her through Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was during this time that a private group on Facebook named Is we Dating the same Guy NYC appeared as a good opportunity to follow. The group offered a thorough survey prior to screening and guidelines for the community which acted as a barrier to entry. It was four-and-a-half million members strong. Deanna was interested, so she enrolled.

The community

The group was formed with the sole purpose to help women determine if their loved ones were seeing another person-was launched in the month of March 2022. It is believed that nearly every large US city has a similar group now and the rules are simple: Everyone is allowed to be anonymous, not doxxing or posting information that is sensitive, and in no circumstance can screenshots be taken away from the group. There is no harassment, no blame-shifting or blaming others for the actions of another.Read here datingfortodaysman.com At our site Never tell a man he’s been listed in the group. In the wake on the heels of West Elm Caleb, an individual with whom many women in New York shared negative dating experiences and made connections online, it seemed many women were searching for a way of seeking out the other guys who shared similar experiences. One TikTok user commented during the day This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.

This is, in fact, the way this group was in the year Deanna joined. Each iteration of Are We Dating the Same Guy serves as a catchall site for women seeking love advice or warn about people with whom they’ve had bad dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is, it’s the act of contacting them other women to tempt them on social media sites has also become very common. It’s easy to get lost in a into a puddle of screenshots Hinge profiles, tales of hookups that went wrong, and memes of the flaws of modern dating. Some of the most popular posts include photos of a man with his initials, requesting if anybody has matched with or had a relationship with the person of interest. Emojis with red flags are a common sight on sparse yet alarming posts warning of an ex or a bad experience that are usually accompanied by a downward arrow, and the terrifying phrase See comments for more info.

Online dating has dominated the scene in recent years in recent years, with a recent study showing that 39 percent of heterosexual couples found their loved ones online. Therefore, it is only natural that the romantic element of romance should be modified to fit the current digital age. Instead of chatting with group of friends at a bar or discussing issues with colleagues, we are seeking the counsel of 43,000 women going through similar-and in some cases similar experiences.

It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie an additional group member. Not to imply that there’s no rights that are available however it was beneficial to me to reconsider my view of dating. It’s not a contest between women but holding men to a higher expectation than I was previously.

It’s not lost on me that certain behavior that’s promoted and facilitated by Are We the Dating the Same Guy is alarming if it was displayed by prospective suitors. Photos, photos of private discussions, and screenshots posted with no consent or knowledge are common. The public is able to search social media profiles on a daily basis. It’s easy for a date to get into the spotlight. While Deanna is a fan of being part of the group, she’s got a few reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she declares. But I’m guessing that you’ll come across the problem that it becomes an echo chamber where men have taken advantage of us for so long and now we’re going to pay it back.

Our society is still an patriarchal society

We live in an environment of patriarchy. Therefore, until we’re truly equal on the internet, these interactions will generate different reactions based on each person’s background. Even so, can an online such a group really be empowered in a positive way on one side of the coin, and morally reprehensible and inhumane on the other? Are We All Dating the Same Guy is hyperlocal and interconnected, which is only beneficial to people who live and are dating in the same city that the group is located in. The women, and the men they write about could be your next-door neighbor you work with, a friend, family member, or most latest Hinge match. Yet, there’s a sense of depersonalization which comes with using the internet, which makes it feel like it’s a game. It’s not difficult for me to say this is in opposition to the date-related information in both groups-especially when the details of private chats, private messages and even photos are being shared without their knowing or consent, usually to provide entertainment.